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| I Remember .... Over the past decade, I have worked as a social worker to the elderly and those with disabilities. During which time, I have closed many case files by writing, "client has deceased.... counseling services will be offered to the family, friends, and neighbors." It is a rare work environment that acknowledges the grief of the social worker and other professionals who have served the departed. I have heard that some social workers attend memorials/wakes of their clients, but for me I rather do something a little more private.... something that was taught to me by a hospice social worker. I think it is a beautiful way of making a public declaration of one's rememberance of a client, while upholding the ethics of the confidentiality. This method uses only the first name of the deceased client and allows us to use symbolism and ritual when saying our good-byes. Please read the following example, and feel free to e-mail me with your memories and I will include them on this page. Submissions can be sent to bshane@hotmail.com with the subject of "I Remember". |
| Copyright 1996-2008 Tobi A. Pace, MA, LSW - Webmaster Last updated on October 7, 2008 |
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| Sydell |
| "I remember Sydell, A woman who could charm any 'tough cookie' into a smile, and who taught me that the rolls on the dinner table were fair game for any doggy bag. All she wanted was someone to go to the movies with, and someone to tell her she was still needed. Good-bye Sydell." - Tobi |
| Harry |
| "I remember Harry, A man who would make you laugh, even when you didn't think you could. I'm sure his John Wayne impression is winning over the ladies in heaven. Good-bye Harry." -Tobi |
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| "I remember my first client who overdosed and successfully took her life by using methadone. While I had always intellectually known that addiction was a disease, it was not until that point when I learned the importance of reminding myself on a daily basis that it is in fact a disease, and to never send a client away from me or my office without sharing with them the truth or my concerns." - Jenn |
| Anonymous |
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| "I will never ever forget this woman named Eva who was in a family violence situation, pregnant, and gave birth to this child I call 'miracle child' to have survived through his mother's trauma. They are doing well now, after having been taken by child welfare and Eva having to fight to get her child back after a lot of advocacy. It seemed as through the child welfare worker had her own agenda however the child now is thriving with his mom....an honor student and a miracle of life. Resiliency does really occur even when beaten down." - Lise |
| Eva |
| Anonymous |
| "I remember you, you sat and asked for money your child was dying and you couldnt feed him or yourself or your other child. You were known as a pain in the social work section because you were always asking for help. I remember that you were helpless with no strength left to care what people thought just to survive and keep your child alive was all you cared about. I think of your struggle often and it keeps reminding me that all is not what it appears and not to dismiss the obvious and unsaid, because often people are too tired to tell and too worn out from asking for what they need." - Mairi |